I used to only want the best for me.
Held my head up so high, even the sky seemed limiting. Like butter, my self-esteem spread over everything… how I used to be, who I was, and what I will be.
Now here I am… still standing.
Legs shaking, as I desperately try not to fall to my knees… See, life’s endless testing made me too weak to carry my self-esteem. So completely unworthy… I resort to bargaining.
I will take your half-heartedness, but… well maybe you can at least give me the right half of it…
I will make-do with your eye wondering. It.. has to land on me eventually…
I can stand being forgotten occasionally… besides, I was born being lonely.
I will make do with your day-late wishes, forced smiles, weak hugs and cold love…….. Yes, I think this… this is good enough.
Selling my heart at a discounted rate… In exchange for… this thing……. should be ashamed to beg for something I can’t even give a proper name…
Just. Please. Give me what you can and I will work with what I get.
I will forgive what you forget.
I will learn to live with being the next best thing after the last thing, if that means I’ll have reason to be. I have no right to demand anything, but please,
Leave me this thing.